Even More Jokes!
There's a man walking home alone at night, and there is a "BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..." behind him. He walks faster and looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging it's way down the middle of the street towards him... "BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..." The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces after him faster... faster... BUMPBUMPBUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door...locks it...and the coffin crashes through his door and the lid to the coffin begins to lift open, bumping towards him. The man runs to the bathroom and locks himself, heart pounding, and CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door, coming slowly towards him, the man screaming...the man is reaches for something, anything...and he finds a box of cough drops and throws them at the coffin...and the coffin stops.
Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. . . .
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. . . .
A woman has twins and she gives them up for adoption. One goes to Egypt and is named Amal by the couple that adopts him. The other goes to Mexico and is named Juan by his new parents. Years later, Juan makes contact with his biological mother. He sends her a picture of himself. She tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of her other son. Her husband responds, "But they are twins - if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."