More Jokes!
Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a large puddleof oil. They see a worm on the other side. So...the one flies over and the other one swims through. Which one gets to the worm first? The one who swam, of course, because "Da oily boid gets da woim."
Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other.One says
to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately... no pun in ten did.
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?" "No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton." A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?" "No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton." When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly, "Fred died yesterday." Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription: ... "Gone, But Not for Cotton."
This guy he is a trucker, he really likes animals and is an animal rights activist. He's driving down the highway when suddenly a rabbit jumps out,the trucker had no time to react and hit the rabbit. Getting out of the truck, he then walked up to the rabbit and said,"What have I done!""I killed him!" Just then a woman drove up and inquired what had happened, the trucker replied,"I hit this rabbit can ya' help me?" the woman replied, pulling out a bottle,"Yes, I can!"The woman then proceeded to rub some of the contents of the bottle onto the rabbit. Miraculously the rabbit got up, hopped a few feet, turned around, and waved. He then continued to hop away, waving every few feet until, he disappeared into the forest. The trucker turing to the woman asked, "Wow! Thanks! What was it that you put on him?" The woman replied,"Oh it was just hare restorer w/extra wave!"